John Kerry's New Career

The name John Kerry hasn’t come up much since the Swift Boat Scandal, lost bid to become President in 2004. John wasn’t the worst candidate in the world—the worst guy ended up winning of course—he just wasn’t a compelling public speaker. This was evidenced when he chose a then unknown Illinois state lawmaker to speak at the DNC. That guy was Barack Obama and he ended up doing OK for himself.

Obama gave John a chance at redemption and to show that he had a little more charisma than the piece of wood we saw debate Dubya yeas ago. Sure, his swagger isn’t at dangerously high levels, but Johnny looked a lot more comfortable and threw a bunch of jabs at Mitt and his crew.

Here are some highlights:

-"Ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off than he was four years ago"

-"For Mitt Romney, an overseas trip is what you call it when you trip all over yourself overseas. It wasn't a goodwill mission - it was a blooper reel”

-"Folks: Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from Alaska; Mitt Romney talks like he's only seen Russia by watching Rocky IV."